The "F" word...Food!

I grew up feeling like food had power over me. I thought I was powerless to the constant calling of food - it haunted me in every waking moment. I wasn’t overweight, but was led to believe I was by my gymnastics coaches. Most of my family was fat, so it was easy to believe I was too. It’s as though I was a fat person stuck in a regular sized body. I feared becoming fat and spent years obsessing about what I would and would not eat; what people would think of me if they saw me eating; how I would get rid of the enemy (food) once ingested. I created a plethora of unhealthy habits as a result. I was depressed, negative and angry – filled with self loathe – and repeated this thought to myself often: “I am (doomed to be) fat and don’t want to be.”

“I grew up feeling like food had power over me.”

Then I learned that what we think and feel is what we create. I also learned that the universe is a big YES machine – it hears our thoughts as positive statements and says yes to them, manifesting our thoughts from the unseen or astral plane to the seen or physical plane from that perspective. So when I thought "I am fat and don’t want to be fat" the universe simply heard "I am fat" – and said YES I grant you that as you wish!

This was a game changer for me, but I was left with the daunting challenge of relearning how to play this new game - to be selective, positive and purposeful with my thoughts. I created a mantra (many of them, really) that I began to recite to myself a lot. I figured I had years of "I'm fat" and "I'm powerless over food" to counteract, so affirmations became my new obsession! 

• I am happy, healthy, wealthy, loved and lean.
• I'm fit, firm, sexy and strong.
• My body is an amazing machine; everything I put in it is used for fuel.
• Eating leafy greens makes me feel happy.
• When I connect to my essential self, I am powerful and make intuitively wise, healthy choices.
   

“When I connect to my essential self, I am powerful and make intuitively wise, healthy choices!”

A year of practice later, my powerlessness and obsession with eating and becoming fat had decreased dramatically. I had retrained my brain, changed my thoughts and therefore behaviors, and had manifested a body in line with my new thoughts – I was fit, firm, lean and strong! The internal transformation I felt was liberating, I felt free and happy and powerful. Wanting to share the tools I used to help others like me find relief from the negativity and self-condemnation of eating issues and body image disorders, I developed a 12-week workshop called Your Essential Self (YES!). I couldn’t be more pleased to see the immensely positive results my students have also had over the past six years that I’ve been teaching YES!

I invite you to give yourself the gift of consciousness, empowerment and ease with food and your body this year by joining me Tuesday, January 27 through April 14, 2015, at 7:15pm for this 12-week course. Click here for more details (http://www.allyncioban.com/12-week-course/) and here to register (https://clients.mindbodyonline.com/classic/home?studioid=18383) [click on Workshops and scroll down to Your Essential Self (YES!)].

Namaste,

Allyn

Fear, Faith and Tea

I’ve always loved to work. I am blessed with a very strong work ethic and drive for success. I enjoy the feeling of being productive, creative and well organized. I am also a natural born teacher. I’ve taught group exercise classes since I was fourteen years old. But that was never enough for me – I remember thinking that I couldn’t possibly spend my entire life inside a gym! I needed to prove to myself that I could be a successful business woman who used her brain to contribute to humankind. I wanted to make a difference in the lives of those around me, so I worked, I served, I contributed, I made money, and I achieved success.  And now, that is not enough for me.  Now, all I want to do is teach yoga!!!

Immediately upon teaching my first yoga class in early 2010, I’ve wanted to spend all my time devoted to the teachings of yoga, to the inner exploration of spirit, breath, health and possibility. This thought – being a full time yoga teacher – simultaneously brings me so much joy and a ton of fear.  Fear of putting myself out there, of being vulnerable and perhaps being laughed at or judged. Fear of not being able to pay the mortgage. Fear of not being good enough or desired enough as a teacher. And, of course, fear of failing.  All my old stories come up screaming in my face, “How dare you? Who do you think you are? You’re not _______ enough to do that (you can pretty much fill in any word you can think of here – I seem to have them all).” The fear tirade goes on and on, ending with a big old flashback memory of the first time I left home and was met with the words, “Ha-ha-ha, I’d like to see you try to make it on your own. You’re gonna come running back. You have no idea what you’re doing.”  

I didn’t have any idea what I was doing then, but I had faith that I would figure things out. I made it on my own.  I didn’t ask for any help, and I didn’t go back until I had the sweet smile of success on my face. So the question is, can I do it again now…thirty years later? I say YES! Rather than letting fear win and allowing sadness, anger and regret to take over (which I believe would eventually manifest physically) I would make a plan to make this transformation a reality. Practicing and teaching yoga has helped me realize the extreme value in having a teacher’s guidance and support, and in that spirit I hired a coaching team.

I signed up for Justin Michael Williams and Karen Mozes’ Yoga Business Retreat and continued with them privately for a few more sessions after the retreat. The experience of working with Justin and Karen has been extraordinary (as was the tea we shared along the way)! Their individual and combined expertise, love and care has helped me move through my fears, uncover my blind spots and create a plan for success. One tangible result of our work together, which I am so excited to share with you, is my new website:  www.AllynCioban.com!

I embark on this next phase of life, not knowing exactly what it will look like, but having faith that by being true to myself, doors will open and the path will be revealed. I trust that by following my spiritual heart and the inspiration within, along with a willingness to ask for and accept assistance when feeling stuck or stopped, I will find happiness, deep satisfaction and success. As I humbly journey through my old stories, move through my fears, and practice yoga and pranayama to release that negative energy, my goal is to share authentically with the hope of inspiring another on a similar path of self-inquiry, self-acceptance and self-mastery. Together, let’s move toward stillness though movement, one-ness through breath and self-love through awareness and faith.

Namaste